Do You Know What I Love The Most?
by hippocritical
Summary: Sirius seemed to have gone slightly delirious with boredom during the last half hour and invented the ‘if your name is Remus, take all your clothes off’ game. To humour him, Remus had reluctantly removed his cloak, shoes and belt. RLxSB.
1. one

It was summer. The Marauders had been locked inside their dormitory since early that morning with firm, verging on hysterical, instructions from Lily to "…finish that _damn_ homework." The sound of the door locking magically behind her lingered in the room, followed by whispers of "God damnit, Prongs!"

Nine unproductive hours later, Remus wanted out.

Sirius seemed to have gone slightly delirious with boredom during the last half hour and invented the "if your name is Remus, take all your clothes off" game. To humour him, Remus had reluctantly removed his cloak, shoes and belt.

"Strip! Strip! Strip!"

"I did!"

"That's not stripping, that's 'removing inessential items of outerwear'…the rules clearly state—"

"What rules?!"

"Aw, come on, dude. You clearly _lose_ at this game so just fucking give in already."

"No, no, no. On so many levels, just no."

"Give in, Sirius. He's totally not gonna do it."

"Yeah, this game sucks anyway."

"Ugh…" Sirius released his grip on Remus and threw himself backwards onto his bed, at the same time folding his arms and sinking low into the many pillows. He sat there for a few moments, radiating 'why-can't-I-have-my-own-way' vibes. "Why don't you think of something better to do, Potter? Bet you fucking can't."

"Anything's better than the 'let's molest the Werewolf' game," Remus chimed in from where he was now perched on the edge of Peter's bed.

Peter sighed and scratched the back of his head. "Your fault we're stuck in here for the day, Sirius. Wanna try one more essay?"

"No," Sirius said sullenly. Remus sighed. If he was completely honest, he didn't feel like working anymore. He and Peter had confiscated Sirius and James's wands several hours ago. The fan Peter had transfigured from an old hat had officially stopped working. No one could work out how to unlock the windows Lily had enchanted – apparently, ensuring they didn't escape into the sunny grounds was more important than supplying them with fresh air.

"Ok, fine. We'll start again tomorrow."

Sirius, James and Peter all looked up with equally surprised facial expressions. Up until then, Remus had been flapping around pretty much _forcing_ them all to work their way through several books, with little or no result. "What?" he asked, rubbing his eyes. "I'm as pissed off as you guys now. So I say we quit for tonight."

He bent down to retrieve a book that had been kicked under the bed. "And plus, I don't think Sirius's mental health is doing too well." he continued, his voice slightly muffled.

Sirius snorted. "You know, if you'd just fucking give in then we wouldn't have any issues at all." He crawled onto the floor next to Remus, grinning. Grabbing the book that was just out of the brunette's reach, he rammed it into Remus's chest. "There."

"Ow, thanks," he replied, standing up. Sirius jumped up next to him and slung his arm around Remus's shoulders.

"_So_, what're we gonna do now?" he asked, shoving his other free hand into his pocket and leaning his head onto Remus's shoulder.

"Dunno," Remus replied slowly, sending out 'help me, you know what Black gets like when he's bored' signals frantically with his eyes and indicating how Sirius's arm seemed to have magically made it's way down to his waist. James giggled. Remus made a mental note to show Lily his diary.

"Oh… um, I guess we could just give up for tonight and make an early start in the morning? Yeah?" Peter offered.

"Yeah, okay," James nodded, not taking his eyes off the Snitch he had produced. "Sounds fun."

"Yeah! Oh wow, yeah! We can have, like, a sleepover! Awesome." Sirius's smile widened. "It'll be fun, Moony!"

Rule one of being best friends with Sirius Black - anything _he_ deems to be 'fun' will most certainly end up in either a trip to the hospital wing or major sexual harassment of the Lupin variety. Judging by the way Sirius's fingers were now _inside_ the pocket of his jeans, Remus could take a pretty good guess. He forced a smile. After all, it's not like he hadn't got used to it by now.

"Uh, Padfoot? We have 'sleepover's' every night."

Sirius squealed and jumped back onto the bed, pulling Remus with him and almost crushing Peter's half-finished essay.

"Careful!"

"What? Oh yeah, sorry. Let's do fun stuff. Not our bedtime yet…" Sirius glanced at Remus where he was now, somewhat awkwardly, perched on Sirius's lap. Remus could have sworn Sirius actually licked his lips. He tried his best to ignore it as the arm around his waist tightened. "We've got loads of time…"

-

**so I wanted to see if I could finish something that had more than one part.**

**uh, hi, I have no idea where this is going.**

**I love you all.**


	2. two

"Hide and seek?" Peter grinned from the bed. "If we're gonna do this sleep over thing, we might as well do it right."

"Wormtail, we're _stuck_ in here, there's not exactly—"

"Yeah!" James leaped up and high-fived Peter, ignoring Remus's protests.. "Okay, you wanna go first, Sirius?"

Remus could almost see the gears turning beneath Sirius's hoodie, layer of hair gel, hair and skull.

"Yeah but…" he began, widening his eyes. "Y'know, this place is pretty messy and if I'm on my own, I might break something and… did I mention I'm afraid of the dark?" _Oh yeah, like they're gonna fall for that_. "So, how about we go in pairs? I'll have Remus."

"Ok, first off, Black. You're so not afraid of the dark."

Yes. _Exactly_ Peter. Well done.

"But yeah, pairs would be more fun. Off you go." He grinned at Remus, who made a mental note to plot Peter Pettigrew's eventual downfall.

"We'll give you five hundred counts, okay guys?" James threw himself face down onto the bed.

"Make it a thousand!" Sirius called back as grabbed Remus's wrist.

"C'mon dude, we can still go _up_." Sirius prodded Remus forward, onto the staircase.

"How about there?" Remus shrugged, pointing into the doorway immediately opposite.

"Yeah, right, Moony. I'm sure everyone would love us disrupting their NEWT study; anyway, we're like, a room away from where they are. We need to get further. Way further. Come on." Sirius smiled and grabbed Remus's hand and proceeded to bound up the stairs.

-

Six flights of stairs later they arrived on the top floor.

"Why…do you…have to…run…everywhere?" Remus asked between breaths, wondering why there were small floating creatures on the ceiling.

"We're being timed, dumbass…they're probably…already coming now."

Remus nodded, sitting down on a step. "Yeah. You're so fucking competitive, Sirius."

"Yeah I know. Shit, it's hot."

"You're so weird."

"I know, Moony. Let's go, kid!" Sirius pulled Remus to his feet. "Breathing normal yet?"

"Yeah. Just about." Remus closed his eyes for a split second, before he found himself being manhandled into what he would later describe as _the_ smallest broom closet in the history of the universe.

"What… what the fuck? _Here?_ Sirius, seriously – not funny - can't we just fucking hide under a bed or something?"

"Shh." Sirius hissed, casting a quick look down the stairs. "This is perfect." He grinned triumphantly and pulled the door shut.

It was pitch black.

"Not so scared of the dark now, are we?" Remus asked a wall of nothingness. He heard a giggle from somewhere behind him.

"Nah. But y'know, I'm not alone now, am I?"

Remus took a tentative step to his left and stepped onto a something slightly squishy: Sirius's foot.

"Ow! Shit!"

"You chose this hole! Deal! Do you even have your _wand_?"

"Nope." He could hear Sirius smiling. Fucker. He exhaled deeply and turned to aim a friendly hit at where he assumed Sirius's shoulder was located.

"Ow! This is fucking domestic violence."

"Oops, sorry _dude_." Remus tried to sound as sincere as possible, but right now slightly sarcastic would do just fine.

"You will be."

Remus heard Sirius lunge in his direction and and side-stepped half a meter. He heard a crunching sound as what he could only assume was Sirius's face connected with the solid wall of the closet. Silence. Then a faint noise that indicated Sirius was sliding down the wall. Thud.

"Hate you, Moony." A small, muffled voice came from somewhere near Remus's feet.

"Of course you do." Remus rolled his eyes and backed up against the wall that had just floored Sirius and allowed himself slide down.

It occurred to him he should probably see how Sirius was doing as he hadn't made a sound for a personal record of twenty seconds.

He nudged Sirius's knee with his own. "Um, sorry. Really. Are you okay?" Remus scratched his ear and waited.

"I'm trying to stop the fucking bleeding!" Sirius replied thickly. "God, Moony, what made you so fucking cranky today?"

"Dunno, something to do with being kidnapped and thrown in a closet?"

"Why do you always make me seem like the bad guy?"

"Since you consistently pull clichéd stunts, like this."

"Personally, I thought this was pretty inventive."

"I'm sure I saw this in a movie once…"

"I'm sure I saw this in a porn movie once."

Remus heard Sirius giggle sinisterly to himself and before he knew it, he had a Sirius in his lap and hot air was being breathed into his face.

Remus tried not to burst into tears.


	3. three

"Oh God, Moony, would you just relax for one fucking second?" Sirius moved so his back was resting against Remus's bent legs. "Do you really think I pulled you in here to fuck you?"

"Yes. I believe that whole-heartedly."

"So…I'm guessing you wouldn't be cool with that?" Sirius asked conversationally.

"Not really."

"Damn." Sirius was quiet for about five seconds. Possibly the most awkward five seconds of Remus's life. "Can we make out instead?" he suggested with a casual tone.

"_What_?" Remus wriggled uncomfortably, kneeing Sirius in the back.

"I know, I know…James and Peter could come _any second_," Sirius continued, as if that was the _only thing_ bothering Remus about his proposal. "You never know, you might like it." Sirius sounded so desperately hopeful that Remus actually melted a little bit inside.

Only a little bit.

"_Seriously_, Sirius, move." Remus tried to straighten his legs again, wondering _how_ Sirius had gained an extra twenty pounds in the last five minutes.

"Please, Moony?"

Remus sighed and leaned his head back against the cold wall.

"Just once, yeah…and then you can forget about it. _Forever_, I swear. It won't make stuff weird. And, y'know…we gotta do _something _to pass the time in here, right? I'll buy you chocolate!"

"Fucking _hell,_ Sirius!" Remus waved aside all hope of leaving the room with all his dignity intact. "Fine. One time." He tried to relax as much as humanly possible for someone about to become Sirius Black's next victim. How fucking fantastic.

"Oh shit. You said yes." Sirius sounded nervous now.

"Uh, _yeah_."

"You're just too easy, Remus." Remus wondered if it was possible to _hear_ someone smirking. "Fuck, now _I _gotta get this right…" Sirius cleared his throat. "Okay. Now promise me you won't freak out in the middle and head butt me or something…"

"I'll try."

He heard Sirius laugh gently. In the dark it seemed ghostly and disembodied, even though he could feel Sirius sitting on him. A shiver ran up Remus's spine.

He felt Sirius reach to his side and grab hold of his wrist. He walked his fingers up Remus's arm, past his shoulder until his hand was resting underneath Remus's jaw.

"Get on with it, Sirius." Remus whispered, prodding him in the stomach.

"Well I don't want to fucking _miss_ do I?" Sirius's voice wasn't so confident and jokey anymore. Remus felt him move his hand across his chin until the rough skin of Sirius's thumb was resting on the corner of his lips. Remus gulped nervously.

With a quick movement, Sirius used his grip on Remus's chin to tilt his head upwards and at the same time he leaned downwards until their lips connected. From what Remus could tell about the feel of his mouth, he would have sworn Sirius was smiling.

"You're freaking out…Relax, Moony."

_Yeah, relax, Remus. Because this is _so_ fucking regular isn't it? Stupid Sirius and his stupid charm and his stupid words and his stupid _everything He felt Sirius pull away and rest his forehead on his.

"Stop having hissy fit, dude." Sirius's hot breath washed over Remus's face. "Although, for someone that clearly hated that, that was pretty fucking awesome. I'll have to make out with you when you're mad at me more often…" Sirius giggled.

Remus's vocal chords had pretty much packed in and he made a half-strangled, totally incomprehensible noise. He cleared his throat, steadied his breathing and tried again.

"Are we done yet?" he asked shakily, knowing exactly what answer he _really_ wanted to hear.

"No way."

-

**end.**

**haha, I don't know if that was even 2000 words, but at least I finished something.**

**thanks for reading. xo**


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